The Rule That’s Helping Me Heal: PPA (Pause, Process, Action)

Welcome to my first official reflection on this platform.

This space is a journal of sorts — a place where I process, pause, and speak my truth.

I’m not perfect. But I’m learning. And one thing I’ve realized is that sometimes, growth comes down to the small habits. This is one of mine.

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The PPA Rule: Pause, Process, Action

I’ve noticed a pattern in myself; the tendency to react first, justify my actions immediately, and only later realize that I was moving on impulse rather than intention.

It’s a habit I see in people I don’t admire, yet somehow, I catch myself doing it too.

So, I’ve created a rule for myself. Pause. Process. Action. A simple but effective rule of thumb that will help me approach situations, conversations, and conflicts in a way that aligns with the person I want to be.

PAUSE

The first instinct when someone criticizes you, challenges you, or calls you out is to respond instantly. To defend yourself. To explain why they are wrong. To prove your point.

But instead—Pause.

Literally. Breathe. Let the moment settle before you do anything.

This alone will:

• Prevent impulsive reactions that I’ll regret later.

• Help me stay in control of my emotions instead of letting them control me.

• Protect my energy by allowing me to decide if something is even worth my response.

  
  

PROCESS

Once I’ve paused, the next step is to think critically. Not just about the situation, but about my own role in it.

Questions to ask myself:

• Is this true? Is what they’re saying about me actually valid?

• Am I being defensive, or am I genuinely being misunderstood?

• Is this worth engaging in, or should I just let it go?

• How do I want to handle this so that I stay in control of myself?

This step is crucial because it stops me from reacting purely on emotion. Instead, I get to assess, reflect, and decide my next move with intention.

ACTION

Only after I’ve paused and processed do I take action.

And here’s the key: I don’t just react for the sake of reacting. I choose my response.

My action could be:

• Acknowledging and adjusting – If I realize I was wrong, I take accountability and work on changing.

• Explaining with clarity – If I feel misunderstood, I calmly express my side without over-explaining or defending unnecessarily.

• Letting it go entirely – Some things don’t need a response. Not every battle is worth fighting.

By following PPA, I avoid the trap of:

• Getting emotionally drained over unnecessary conflicts.

• Feeling the need to prove myself to people who may not even care about understanding me.

• Being reactionary instead of being intentional.

Why This Rule Matters

This is more than just a way to deal with conflict. It’s a method for living with more emotional

intelligence, maturity, and peace.

It aligns with something I believe deeply:

“Loving God changes the way you love others.”

If I want to love others the right way, I have to control how I speak, react, and handle situations. If I want to be a better person, I can’t just wish for it I have to actively shape my behavior.

So, from this day forward, I commit to practicing PPA.

I know I won’t always get it right. I know there will be moments when I still react too fast. But as long as I keep choosing to pause, process, and act with intention, I will continue growing into the person I am meant to be.

And in a few months, I’ll look back and see just how much has changed.

I’m sharing this not because I have it all figured out, but because I’m learning to live with more intention.If PPA helps you the way it’s helped me, I hope you carry it with you.

With love and growth,

— Lois✨